Contact 2018-03-30T20:11:24+00:00


I book in advance, with deposits, primarily M-F. Same day bookings are impossible. Writing me at 7pm for the next day may also lead nowhere. Set yourself up for success and write in advance. If you’re looking for immediate attention, unwilling to negotiate or screen or are under 21 years of age, move along. 


Approach Me as a future kinky teacher. Take some time to think about what you want, vs your fantasy vs your limitations.  Use full words and sentences. Answer questions when asked. Once the safety negotiations and screening bit is settled it’s all fun and games, but this bit shows me you can follow directions, that you can cool your jets and save extra thoughts in a draft and not send me 3+ emails in a row.  I routinely give out β€œcool your jets” second chance “dates” to those I feel need more self-exploration or patience, that in itself is a gift.  If your communication skills are decent, we’ll get along fine. Expect a handful of follow up questions but give me a good base to “see” you with:




__Include the following for me to take your email seriously:__

  1. Name (or preferred play name)
  2. Scene/ Wishlist: experiences you are hoping for/ Short Wishlist of activities or power exchanges you’d like to participate in if possible: physical, verbal, sensory deprivation, themes..
  3. Major City you are hoping to meet in and Time window (mornings/ early eve/ Tuesdays). For Distance Training include your Timezone.
  4. Hard Boundaries/ Nope List: What you’d really rather not engage in, words or themes that are the wrong kind of dark for you…
  5. Method of Deposit (Tell me which you can do from MY list: Bitcoin, EMT, Email Gift Card, Snail Mail.. Full list of options and details Here–>  Deposits + Tribute)

**    Send EMAILS to : OR

(out of the googleverse):    **

(Note: A WordPress comment is not an email. I respond to emails at my earliest windows, and will often skip one day of emails completely on weekends. Sometimes I am literally off grid, and my Twitter and website will reflect this. I am turned off by multiple emails sent for attention, save stuff in a draft. Allow the screening and negotiations to happen as they must to understand each other and then add more fun stuff, pre-negotiations are essential for great play.)


Address Me as Contessa,

Contessa Zoe Aspasia

Optional: Send a $25 email gift card to , with the phrase in the message box “Can of Snakes” followed by the first 3 characters of your email address and nothing else, for discretion.  Consider it buying me a little sample of a very nice tea, or saying please (twice) in a way that is useful to me.

Finslaves and the “extra Thirsty” send $123 with only the first 3 characters of your email address in the message box and I’ll make myself available for a little back and forth sooner than usual. That doesn’t mean it will go any better if you really can’t follow directions, and it doesn’t change when I sleep…